It seems like the unbeggable question -- is it just lust or is it love...the real thing.... And, why can't it be both?
Do we, as people, even have the ability to determine that before it's too late...meaning before someone falls down into a hole so deep that they can't see to the top when they need to?
And, furthermore, if it's love, does that mean that it's good for us? Maybe? Maybe not?
Even when you know that something isn't right for you, you can still want a part of it.
I think we can look at difficult things in two ways: as punishments or obstacles to overcome. This experience has tested my beliefs and I found things in myself that I am so very proud of and some that I'm not. But, I have the knowledge and the desire to change the bad things I find. I am proud of myself. I think I am beautiful and not in a cocky way, but in a truly authentic and worthy way.
I am worth the right person's pursuit...I am worth being treated with a gentle hand and for someone to try to give me it all. Because, at the end of the day, that's all we all really want to do...give it all to someone or those select few that truly deserve it.
Anyone who is too scared to pursue it or who just doesn't isn't worth it to me...
So, yes at the end of the day, I know that love requires patience, it require work...it requires letting go of your fears. And, moreover, it requires going "all in".
