Patterns -- Mine is definitely argyle

So, I see the pattern...

Whenever things start feeling out of my hands...I do the escape thing. I immerse myself in something ridiculous...a fantasy of sorts. Something to excite me; to take me out of here. Like Hawaii perhaps. Haha. What a joke...or is it? Could one of my friends be right...go out there, experience it...it is a once in a lifetime thing. She jetted to Isreal only to be greeted with a guy who already has a girlfriend, but was happy to sleep with my friend as well while she was there but the girlfriend wasn't. In my book, that is not a good guy make, nor would I have slept with him. But, as a friend, I am witholding that type of judgement upon her...But, for reasons purely relating to me...I am saying, she took a risk...it wasn't all about him and it didn't work out with him. But, she will never have to ask "what if"...she will never say to herself...I didn't take this path so I really don't know if it would have led somewhere beautiful or if it would be a dead end. Dead ends are ok... What isn't ok is not exploring...right? (By the way, I am going to stand in her wedding this January).

I am supposed to be in this place in my life where I am experimenting and "figuring things out"...but I will not be figuring them outby sitting around. Yes, a lot of reflection about myself is needed...and desired to move forward. But, the other necessary component is to LIVE. To make utter mistakes...to make life-altering, be it slight or incredible, decisions.

So, throughout this maze I might not always see the end or know exactly what pattern there is but taking comfort in knowing one exists. Furthermore, it will make a beautiful story that will one day be known as my life...

I can't wait to see how it turns out.