Girlfriends vs. Single People...Round One

I have been one before...a girlfriend. But, now, as I stand on the other side of the ring, as a single girl things are looking a lot different. It reminds me of an episode of Sex & the City entitled, "The Shoot Single People, Don't They?" Well, maybe some girls want to...but they shouldn't.

I love being single right now; I feel so liberated. After a string of bad relationships and numerous "life" lessons, I have proven to myself I can do things on my own and that I don't need a man, especially the wrong man, to validate my existence. I am ready for a relationship, but I am holding out for the right guy and not holding onto any guy that is wrong for me. All these years have brought me to this point, I am finally prepared to meet the "right guy" and be that "right girl". However, until we find each other...I remain single.

My ex, of four years, and I have finally reached a good point in our relationship: friendship. It only took almost two years to happen but we are finally there and it feels great. I have no romantic feelings for him and he no longer has the ability to make me want to jump off a cliff when we get into a fight. All is right in the world. But, there is now one thing in the way of this new found friendship...his new girlfriend.

I am not just saying this to be politically correct, but I am elated that he found someone he is interested in and who is giving him a steady stream of ... on a regular basis, which clears him from hitting on me (well, at least not as often). I am by no means jealous of this girl. Conversely, this girl hates me; however, she has never met me. So, I ask my ex, "what could you have possibly told her about me to make her hate me so much?" He responds, "I never said a bad word about you to her, she is just very insecure and she knows I will never be in love with her. She sees this for what is it: fun."

To her, I am the ex. I am the girl he was in love with, but if she would even take the time to get to know me, she would know how I would never touch him again.
It is just very frustrating to know there is a girl out there who hates my guts without even knowing me. I am the best possible scenario for an ex that you could think of. Unfortunately, this leaves my ex and I feeling like the equivalent of secret friends...which is ludicrous.

So, moral of the story is this girl who doesn't know me has created this fictional caricature of me in her head as a whore who wants my ex back and would disrobe at any chance I could possibly get alone with him. How far from the truth that is, she will never know because she truly doesn't want to and wouldn't believe it. It is sad how someone's insecurities can lead them to be their own worst enemy. She is putting herself through angst without cause. And, even though she is making it difficult for my ex and I to have a friendship, our relationship will persevere through this; whereas she will not be around forever. It's just sad to see that she is her own worst enemy, but I guess we all can be that to ourselves from time to time.. I really try not to...and i will look back on her behavior as just another reinforcement of what not to do when and if I am ever in her position. If you cannot trust what you have, look inside, not outside...because chances are, your internal compass is saying something that you should listen to...maybe it's not calibrated right or the relationship you are in isn't your due North.